Struggling with Bullshitting
Updated: Jan 13, 2019
Not gonna lie, I was supposed to write this piece yesterday. Told myself the week before. Aimed for last month. To be honest with you, it's been over a year. This topic was something personal, that I felt was worth discussing. So here we are...
During my year long "shoulda coulda woulda" period, all I did was visualize myself writing and speaking on a subject that I've lived & breathed. A subject that I know to damn well. Fortunately however, I've been blessed with a mind that can produce some of the most (at least what I think) tactful ideas, that have the potential to shape the world we live in. I have these complex thoughts & dreams of how I expect my life should be progressing. To say I see myself as anything less of a "go-getter" would be an undersell. See, it's great to see yourself in the best light but what about in the dark? Truthfully, I have an admission to make.
I'm a certified platinum status bullshitter & that undesirable trait alone is enough to derail myself or anyone else from reaching their true potential. Meaning well doesn't matter...
Luckily my bullshiting habits are in remission, however this is a sickness that sweeps up the masses before most even realize what's happened. Why is it so easy to be complicit when we're all operating on borrowed time on this planet? The phenomenon blows my mind, but what's even crazier is how you can be aware of your bullshitting habits but yet powerless to defend against them. This form of negative energy can take on many modes & fashions, which is why it's so easy to become an "unaware bullshitter".
See you have to understand, bullshitting is deeper than just procrastinating on getting a homework assignment done or laying around playing video games all day.
On the surface they sound like they fall under the bucket right? But hold on a second...believe me when I tell you that, true bullshitting is much more worse than actively "doing nothing".
When you're truly bullshitting, you're literally bullshitting yourself. Let that sink in...
"How could I possibly be bullshitting myself....?" You might be thinking that right now. Let me ask you a question. Self-reflect on the last time you had an idea that you were really passionate about. An idea that you dreamed about. The type of ideas that you bank on to change your current situation in life. Those ideas that you carry on your back!
The ideas you don't even feel comfortable sharing out loud because they come off as too "big" or unrealistic...
Have you ever found yourself in any of those situations...? Now finally imagine yourself sharing the ideas you're passionate about with someone, only for them to disagree, not understand you & ultimately devalue what you're envisioning. Dealing with that dynamic can indeed be tough. However, if you consistently allow outside forces to seep into your psyche, to erode your own self-confidence...then yes, you're actively bullshitting yourself.
At this point...staying at home playing video games, is more palatable than giving up on yourself, due to your reaction to a little adversity.
That's only one example, this is deep stuff. Try to understand that we're talking about a relative concept. You can bullshit yourself in relationships, work, your family, your health, the list continues on. Unfortunately, bullshitting yourself is a toxic, veiled form of self-destruction. People hide behind their bullshit everyday, which is the convenient thing to do.
But ask yourself, if you're only waking up to put energy into defeating yourself, is that truly living? Yes, it's more convenient but is it truly satisfying?
If you find that it is, welp you're actively playing your role in ensuring this world will continue to rotate...it truly takes all types. The sad truth is that, not everyone possesses the desire to be great in life.
It's easy to bullshit in the dark when the people that are invested in you, don't have visibility to the skeletons residing in YOUR closet because of YOUR bullshitting habits.
It's a safe bet, that most chronic bullshitters would benefit with an accountability circle exercise similar to those found in recovering alcoholic meetings. You can run from your problems but that doesn't mean you can always hide. So, why exactly do we bullshit ourselves? Why do we settle & tolerate the repercussions from being complicit in our development? You have to answer those questions for yourself!
The next time you find yourself in the middle of bullshitting, I challenge you not to lose sight of your "purpose"...
The solution to ending your toxic bullshitting habits, resides in the depths of yourself. For example, if you work a job you absolutely hate but never took the time to level up you're own skills...the fact you haven't gotten a promotion or the recognition you deserve...is probably your own fault. Period. If you can learn how to cultivate the ability to "be your own motivation", you'll have the power to withstand any jabs to your psyche, confidence & overall being. We all have decisions in life to make. The decision to move past all of the BS is up to you. The bullshit literally can weigh you down & keep opportunities from reach...
"Rewards don't fall out of the sky but bird shit does." - LPJ